CAFÉ Mokka is a grotto-like building, the only decent venue in Thun, with an open-air stage in the beer garden. A wild-eyed longhair called Peter books bands from all round the world, much to the displeasure of the local authorities, who later that night threaten to close him down. "All they're interested in is ringing their fucking bells!" he growls. Kelli spends the 45 minutes before the show running through vocal exercises. Dave, now with spiky punk hairstyle, concentrates on consuming as much alcohol as possible (the Swiss hosts having laid on absurd amounts of free drink). Chris, meanwhile, goes hunting for women. Miraculously, by 9.30pm the Sneakers are ready. The several hundred fans are standing in the darkness smoking spliffs and drinking beer. When Peter Longhair introduces them ("Great Modern Indie Rock From The UK" say the posters), there's a polite cheer of approval.
Bathed in red light, the Sneakers provide a faultless run-through of the album. Kelli beams throughout, sounding even better than on record. Chris, meanwhile, seems to have attracted a gaggle of female admirers, who are gazing up at him. When the last song has finished, the Pimps scuttle off under the fairy lights and back into the Café Mokka. At which point the kids go mental, stamping their feet and hollering for more. After about five minutes, Peter has to come out and calm them down. "There are two different approaches," Liam had said before the show. "One's making an album with a folk ethic of song structure, melody and lyric. The other is making it as sonically contemporary as possible. Which means embracing the entire discourse of dance music. Those two things are conflicts, but that's what we're trying to do. Make disposable sounds for timeless songs. A bit like alchemy." And tonight, Sneaker Pimps made their alchemy look effortless.
The album 'Becoming X' is out now. The single 'Post Modern Sleaze', with remixes from DJ Sneak, Salt City Orchestra, Reprazent and The Underdog is out August 18th. Both on Clean Up
WHO'S YOUR FAVOURITE SNEAKER PIMP?
"AT first everyone kept going on about how different we were to one another," says Sneakers bass-player, Joe. "A bit
like the Spice Girls."
It's true that, despite the angst-ridden nature of their songs and their unparalleled knowledge of 'the ways of the breakbeat',
the Sneaker Pimps can be reduced to the same 'something-for-everyone' formula as the nation's favourite girl group. Which brings
us to the burning question of the hour - who's your favourite Sneaker Pimp?
GOTH SNEAKER
BIRMINGHAM'S answer to Siouxsie Sioux. Not best disposed to bright light, from which she hides behind a pair of space-age shades.
Ardent admirer of 'Anti-Christ superstar' Marilyn Manson. Favoured by those with a predilection for pointy boots and black eyeliner.
Kelli: [in disbelief] "Oh God!"
TECHNO SNEAKER
TWIDDLER of knobs and addict of rare 12" vinyl. Techno Sneaker's fuzzy, tennis-ball haircut belies his previous incarnation
as an Acid Jazz-style 'beathead'. Listens to Kraftwerk on the tour bus and memorises catalogue numbers to obscure Carl Craig records.
Liam: "Can I change mine from Techno to Electro, please?"
ROMO SNEAKER
SELF-confessed critic of Romo's laughable 'new wave'. Claims to have only ever liked one New Romantic icon, David Sylvian, yet is
forever tagged a wedge-barnetted 'woofty'. Fails miserably, however, to provide satisfactory explanation for his nail polish and eye make-up.
Chris: "Musically I'm not that interested. Visually, er, now and again..."
WIGGA SNEAKER
A 'MAN mountain' of considerable girth, baggy trousered and rolling of gait. Constantly demands to know whether fellow Sneakers are
down with 'the programme'. Bitterly regrets suggesting Spice Girls analogy to 'honky' journalist from Mixmag.
Joe: [quietly] "I don't think mine's very accurate..."
SPORTY SNEAKER
DRUM-stick wielder. Often sweaty. Dresses exclusively in nylon sportswear and has big bass-speakers built into his stool to keep him
in time. Dogged by terrible inferiority complex, not helped by Romo Sneaker's superior strike rate with 'the laydeez'.
Dave: [to Chris] "I'm not Sporty, you fucker! Have I got to be fucking Sporty Sneaker, the unpopular one?"
REMIX MAYHEM!
"I FUCKING hate Van Helden's mix. It's absolutely algorithmic, formulaic, dull, anthemic house cack!" Looking through their
press cuttings, you'd be forgiven for thinking Sneaker Pimps were none too happy about the remix mayhem their tracks have inspired.
But no. The above outburst, Liam explains, was made before he'd heard the track!
Why did he say it, then?
"Cause he's a cock!" says Dave.
"There was a strong possibility that it would be a piece of shit," Liam says. "As a rule, I think house music is
a spent force..."
"That's why I liked the Van Helden mix, because I was expecting so little from it." adds Chris. "It actually
re-established my faith in dance music." Just as well, as it's meant Kelli's "spin spin sugar" refrain has been
dominating London's speed garage pirates ever since.
So, from 'anthemic house cack' to 'faceless techno bollocks', here are those Sneakers knob-twiddlers in full...
AQUASKY
('Tesko Suicide')
Out-of-body drum n' bass spiralling heavenwards with liquid synths and 'so-so' samples. See you at the check-out...
TWO LONE SWORDSMEN
('6 Underground')
Messrs Weatherall and Tenniswood evoke piss-streaked concrete tunnels with loads of wibbly-wobbly noises.
NELLEE HOOPER
('6 Underground')
The Soul II Soul man gives his dub a dose of the jitters. Like space transmissions from some very paranoid aliens.
FILA BRAZILIA
('6 Underground')
Souped-up breaks beneath a pitched-up Kelli. Warm and gooey and worth its weight in, um, Pork.
ARMAND VAN HELDEN
('Spin Spin Sugar')
Gothic oddness, mutant basslines, cyber-vocals. Armand's mix is dark enough for London speed garage station Freek FM.
FARLEY AND HELLER
('Spin Spin Sugar')
A fist full of Sneakers! The deep house maestros draft in some spaghetti western vibes for this dubby work-out.
PHLUIDE
('Spin Spin Sugar')
Kelli and Co are spooked by darkside techno and rogue sub-bass. Er, who is Phluide, anyway? (It's their sound man, actually.)
ATTICA BLUES
('6 Underground')
Trainerspotting with the MoWax beatheadz. Angelic vocals, queasy breaks and wicked scratching.
SIMON WARNER
('6 Underground')
The Umbrellas Of Ladywell equals full-scale orchestral action and 1960s spy film vibes. Beautiful.
DJ SNEAK
('6 Underground')
Chicago's finest goes for a thumping house injection with a hint of disco loopery. Relentless but groovy.
NUSH
('6 Underground')
The Brit-house merchants send arms aloft with this pumped-up trainer bender. Get funky!
JAMIE MYERSON
('6 Underground')
Speaker-worrying dub and the sound of Kelli stuck in the orchestral loop from rated Philadelphia junglist Myerson. Very strange indeed.
RICHARD H KIRK
('6 Underground')
Dubwise droid funk. The Cabaret Voltaire man goes head-to-head with glassy-eyed machinery.
PERFECTO
('6 Underground')
Oakenfold and Osbourne get back to their indie-dance roots. Cut-and-scratch guitar-action rules!